The great way is not difficult
if you just don’t pick and choose.
- Sengcan, 6th century Zen teacher
We spend much of our life, maybe almost all of it, picking and choosing from what life presents to us. We approve of this, we want none of that. We push back against this, we strive to get more of that.
One way to shift this is to notice when we’re being pushed or pulled away from a part of our experience, and then simply and gently say, “Yes” to the cause of our reaction.
What comes up when you hear that? When you hear “say yes” to all of our experience?
What about boundaries? Injustice?
Yes is not condoning + we have limits and can say no to what we’re not ready to handle.
Exercise: Saying No, Saying Yes
Exercise based on a practice from Tara Brach’s book, Radical Acceptance.
As you listen to the following list of words, notice your reaction. Pay special attention to your stomach, chest and throat:
- Lockdown
- Isolation
- Virus
- Outbreak
- Epidemic
Now, as you listen again, say “No” to each word. Say it like you mean it, with the energy of closing it down, pushing it away.
What was your experience?
- Take three deep breaths.
- Now, as you listen to the list one more time, say “Yes” gently to each word. Say it as a genuine welcoming, allowing.
What was that like? What did you notice?
Not Picking or Choosing (Or Doing)
Tao Te Ching (Ursula Le Guin translation)
The Way never does anything,
and everything gets done.
If those in power could hold to the Way,
the ten thousand things
would look after themselves.
If even so they tried to act,
I’d quiet them with the nameless,
the natural.In the unnamed, in the unshapen,
is not wanting.
In not wanting is stillness.
In stillness all under heaven rests.
What is your reaction to this?
It’s easy to mistakenly consider saying yes as a technique to get rid of unpleasant feelings and making us feel better. Saying yes is not a way to manipulate our experience, but rather an aid to opening to life as it is.
- Tara Brach
Everything I can tell you to do can take you away from who you always and already are!
Set the World Free
We want to be free, but we don’t want to set the world free. The ten thousand things, we want to control them. We think that if we can just get them under control, we’ll find the freedom we long for. But it’s the opposite: until you set the world free to be as it is, you remain trapped in your efforts to control it.